Bücher von David Letterman

Get the book that tells the world: “I like to read large-print TV tie-ins!”   Top ten wise-ass things to say to the clerk as you purchase this book: 10. “Don’t bother wrapping it. I’ll eat it here.” 9. “I can’t believe some jerks just go to the library and check out books for free!” 8. “MEEEEOW!! You sell books to kitties, don’t you?” 7. “Whoa! You must go to Letterman’s barber.” 6. “You know, they really ought to do one of those Cops-type shows about bookstore clerks.” 5. “I was going to shoplift this book, but my pants are already full of supermarket steaks.” 4. “Do you have a bag or something? I don’t want anyone to see me with this.” 3. “If this book gives me a paper cut, I’m suing your sorry ass.” 2. “Can you Super Size this?” 1. “You gotta sell me some diphthongs, man! I’m Hooked on Phonics!”

David Letterman''s Book of Top Ten Lists and Zesty Lo-Cal Chicken Recipesby David Letterman and the Late Show with David Letterman WritersIt''s like watching TV -- with the added danger of paper cuts!Top Ten Apologies to People Buying This Book:10.      Cheap glue will only hold the thing together for about six days.9.      Some kids sneaked into the printing plant and added the word "ass" to a lot  of the lists.8.      It costs about a dime to print one of these babies -- now take a look at the retail price, sucker!7.      We''re using the money we make to buy "little Dutch girl" outfits for Dave''s poodles.6.      The book was hastily assembled overseas by jabbering foreigners who don''t give a damn about you or your family.5.      A drunk maintenance guy fell into the press and parts of him appear on pages 68-87.4.      Felt safe making jokes about the Amish on TV; forgot some of them might actually see the book.3.      Dave insisted on writing some of these and we had to play along..2.      There is no remote control. Don''t look for one.1.      The book ain''t much better than the TV show.