A Life Spectacular

WISHING YOUR PROBLEMS AWAY IS REMARKABLY EASY. SURVIVING THE NEW ONES IS SLIGHTLY MORE COMPLICATED...
In a perfect world, Guy Leatherman would be a first-class journalist with a greater passion for life, a bigger circle of friends (i.e. more than one), a loving family and a goldfish that lived longer than the last one.
In a perfect world, Guy would be blissfully unaware that life out there exists, and he certainly wouldn't be stupid enough to step into his closet to be teleported from Earth to an alien planet in an alien body. Nor would he allow himself to get caught up in the biggest conspiracy the Charted Universe has ever seen.
In a perfect world, Guy's alien body wouldn't be nearing its degeneration date, and he wouldn't have to pin his hopes of survival on a street-sweeping doppelgänger, a trash-hating side table, a spy who can't remember much and an elusive Grey with a milk problem.
In a perfect world, Guy would have the courage to do what needs to be done and, more importantly, he'd know what needs to be done.
Unfortunately for Guy, the universe is not a perfect world...