Hilarious Things That Mums Say

The sheep are being racist again!
Why she can't be addicted to heroin like a normal person!
I couldn't sleep! I was too excited and I couldn't stop thinking about my morning porridge.
Don't do drugs! You still have a cold!
Robocop is just Jesus with a robot.
I can't get the Internet up. The little robots in the computer aren't doing their job.
I can't find Noah's Ark under the "True Stories."
I don't have wrinkles because I never smiled at my kids.
There's no blood in your fingers.
Having a child is like having a hairless puppy that learns to talk.
Don't point at the hippo! It might bite your arm off and get sick and then we might get in trouble.
Your suit nearly hides your moobs.
You seem to get on well with my son in spite of his small hands and girly laugh.
Is there kangaroo in beef pie?
Tell your cereal to stop being so loud.
Skype is working! I have so many Internets!
I'll never forget what I got on my second date. Pregnant.