Phoenix Fall

I once heard someone say the phrase "let sleeping dogs lie." I'm not sure that I ever truly understood it before. The key word in that sentence is "before" as I now have a much better understanding of it.
After the disaster of my first posting, and ending up back where I started, everything begins to fall apart. Realising I was never meant to join my mates, and shifting into something new, leaves me not sleeping well. I'm having nightmares as my past bombards me with forgotten and repressed memories.
Wrath, Rage and Ruin.
Somehow I have to get them back in the box, somewhere they have been shut away for far too long and now that they are out, they are in no hurry to go back.
Why can things never be easy?
How much more can I take before I just let go?