Sometimes There Are Rats

My name is Justin Bailey. My best friends are Matt and Wendy. We aren't the kind of people that stuff happens to very often. Usually, you can find Matt and Wendy at my apartment, getting drunk and playing video games. In fact, I would be surprised if you found them anywhere else on a weeknight. But that's not what this story is about. Well, that stuff happens too. But then there's other stuff. Stuff that usually doesn't happen to people like us.
Stuff like murder. And there's a ninja.
And an explosion at the Gummi Bear factory.