The Many Pieces of Me

Born in Costa Rica, I came to the US not knowing a word of English. Growing up, my home life was full of violence, starting with experiencing my father's abuse of my mother and siblings to witnessing my older siblings' perpetuate the abuse in their relationships, I had no frame of reference for what a loving, caring, and supportive relationship was. I was exposed to adult settings too early, sexualized too young, and put into many situations that I had no idea how to navigate-and that was all before I entered high school. By the time I was a teenager, all I knew was that I wanted to get out of my house and create a better life.
But I always fell back on what felt normal comfortable, which was abusive relationship after abusive relationship. Many dark years, excruciating beatings, and five children later, I discovered that the only way to overcome the circumstances surrounding me was to break the cycle that I'd maintained for so long.
My recovery became my journey. It was difficult to recover while I continued the same patterns in my life. I had to go back to the very beginning and unpack the initial trauma and how it continued to affect me for so long. After months in individual therapy dealing with the current and most obvious abusive relationships in my life, I finally paused long enough to address the deepest and most painful scar I carried.